Wednesday, July 8, 2015

those fish are still dead

So, I have been in a very bleak period of depression for more than a year now, brought on by some publishing fucktardery, and I've been fighting the losing battle of trying to tell people that my fish are dead (see: the wonderful Allie Brosch, esp. the Allie Brosch fish post and you'll get that one.)
But today I am here to peek my tired eyes up over the blanket hiding my fetal position and admit that I might be getting a shipment of brand new fish.  Now, they'll probably be like me, fragile and a little bit broken, but they will surely have some hint of optimism and the slightest feathering of remembered joy.

I hope.  I never lost it, even in the darkest times, this hope -even when it was reduced to only a withered thing stretching her trembling hands out into the dark.

I've found her again, and made her soup, some of my quite good chicken vegetable (Homemade) and some of my even better hot and sour (also homemade) and tomorrow I might ply her with homemade turkey chili.  I want to feed her up so she doesn't waste away into one of the more nebulous emotions, or turn into vapidity or despair.

I'm crying while I write this, which is harder than you might think because I'm a tough old trial lawyer and there's no crying in litigation, as more than one partner told me back in the day.  But today I am crying, because I worry that I've let you down.  I cannot write 17 books in 6 months like so many indie authors these days. I wouldn't even try to.  Sometimes, it might take nearly TWO YEARS or even a little longer to get a book from me because my editor has to pry them from my cold, (almost)-dead hands because of the harsh perfectionism that is at the root of much of my depression.  It's the noose I use to tie up the bundles of my dead fish.

But today, I tried to be healthy and happy.  Both on the same day.  I did not "INVITE THE TRAGEDY TRAIN TO THE STATION" as my darling Navy Guy sometimes accuses, and I did not threaten my son with coming home to live in our non-existent basement once he flunks out of college (well, okay, not more than once), and I did not get caught up in a teen drama and I figured out my severe vertigo was because I had forgotten to take my anti-depressants for 4 or 5 days in a row.  DON'T DO THIS!!!

And just when I was starting to fall down on the floor with my dead fish and cry, I remembered that I have all of you, who have shown me crazy kindness and boundless love and understanding.
So.  Hey.  Send some of that stuff this way.   I will snuggle with ALL of you.
So. Thank you. You rock.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

On telemarketers

So, here's a true story. During the 6 or so years that I was a vegetarian, I once had a telemarketer call to offer me mail-order steaks.

Me: I'm a vegetarian.
Him: Okay, have a nice day. *hangs up*

This worked so well, I started using it on other telemarketers.

Caller: Would you like to buy our vinyl siding/satellite dish/lawn service/frozen eyeballs?
Me: I'm a vegetarian.
Me: Bye, now. *hangs up*

Feel free to use this yourself.  You're welcome.

Friday, February 20, 2015

My crazy might be in my DNA

I might secretly be a bear, because cold weather makes me want to hibernate.  Or at least nap, wrapped up in blankets.

My mom: It's 3 below zero here in Ohio.
Me: That's just wrong.
Her: Also, they ruined my tuna fish by putting soybean oil in it.

I think we might all see where I get my crazy from . . .

Saturday, February 7, 2015

On worrying

So, I am a champion worrier.  If worrying were a sport in the Olympics, I would have 59 gold medals by now.  I can worry about things that are not REMOTELY possible, like what if Navy Guy is on deployment and I'm driving home from the grocery store and a METEORITE hits my car and I die, but I'm smushed beyond recognition so nobody knows who I am to tell the kids, who are all alone in the world, and WITH NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE.

This was my biggest concern driving home this morning.  I am so not making this up.  It is scary inside my head.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

birthday drunkenness...

Today I made Princess eggs, French toast, and hash browns for breakfast in bed for her birthday. 15!!! I can't stand it. 

Science Ninja: Um, Mom, why is the spiced rum out for breakfast?
Me: Being your mother is challenging. I needed to take the edge off. 
Him: *worried face*
Me: It's the secret ingredient in my French toast batter, kid. Lighten up.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

New driver on the road!

My son Science Ninja is the proud possessor of a drivers' license! He got a perfect score on his test. And the DMV lady who did the paperwork was absolutely delightful and so kind and funny. 

Her, to SN: Do you want to keep your learners' permit for a souvenir? If not, give it to your mama. Mamas like to keep these things.

Me: Yes, I totally want it! 

Her, to SN: Congratulations! You got a perfect score!

Me *nervous*: What score do you need to get to pass?

Her: You can miss 10 points.

Me: TEN POINTS? TEN???? THESE are the people you have to
worry about, my son. The 10 pointers.

Science Ninja, to DMV Lady: She gets like this.

Her: All mamas do.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Alejandro's Sorceress is finally here!!

Dear Readers:

It's here! It's FINALLY HERE!  ALEJANDRO’S SORCERESS, the long-awaited e-novella that’s (loosely) part of the Atlantis series, by me as Alyssa Day, is out today, April 14th, for only 99 cents!! AND with 7 other books FREE!

Buy links:





Have a peek:

She murmured or moaned, a tiny sound, and tightened her hold on him, and he was lost.
"I need you," he said roughly, his voice like sandpaper.  “I don’t know why or how, but I do.  Please. 

She put her hands on his face and pulled back a little to study his face, and the wildness and desire he saw in her unbelievably blue eyes drove him over the brink of the abyss. 

"Yes," she said.  One tiny word that changed his entire world

Reader reviews are already coming in and readers are telling me they're laughing out loud and loving this story!!  That funny little novella written around Alejandro, a supporting character from Atlantis Unleashed, will be in e-bookstores today, April 14th! After a life lived in the darkness, Alejandro deserved some sunshine.  So I gave him a funny witch with a crazy family to fall in love with.  I hope you are as happy for Alejandro as I am! And since I took soooo long to get this one to you, I’m not only giving it to you for only 99 cents, but I’m giving you 7 other authors’ stories for FREE!!  Yes, ALEJANDRO’S SORCERESS is part of the DARK AND DEADLY: 8 BAD BOYS OF PARANORMAL ROMANCE boxed set, with Jennifer Ashley, Caris Roane, Bonnie Vanak, Erin Quinn, Erin Kellison, Felicity Heaton and Laurie London! 
All the news, in quick bites:

THE LONESOME YOUNG, a hot, crazy-suspenseful, contemporary young adult novel by me as Lucy Connors came out last week!  It will be in an ad in PEOPLE MAGAZINE the 25th!! *thud* *faints in excitement*

I’ll be at the RT Convention in New Orleans from May 13-18 – please come see me!  THE CURSED was an RT Book Club Reviewer’s Choice Award Nominee for Best Paranormal Novel of 2013, but I'm thrilled for my friend Nalini Singh, who won thhe category this year! (Last year, I took the grand prize for paranormal romance with Heart of Atlantis).   If you haven’t checked out Luke and Rio’s adventures, be sure to do so before THE UNFORGIVEN, book 2, comes out sometime this fall/winter! 

Two more books in the League of the Black Swan trilogy will be coming! (And yes, in Atlantis, I still promise to write Denal and Jack!)

 I recently finally came out about my struggles with depression, after far too long spent hiding because I was ashamed. So now I am working to help break the stigma on this horrible illness.  If you or anyone you love suffers from depression, please ask for help. Let’s make depression our bitch, instead of the other way around!

Thank you for reading this far!! I’ll be back next month wth exciting news on future books!! As always, please share this newsletter with anyone you think might be interested!If you’re like to get news of what I’m up to, check out my website, and/or my Lucy Connors website, and please like my page on Facebook or chat with me on Twitter. I love, love, love to hear from readers and you can email me here.